Messy Manifesto

Ah .. fests!

To be enveloped by trees & tunes, tents and car-tires, I would travel for states .. and this month, I did! ..

.. Twice!

I first hauled myself to Ozark Arkansas, a lush & looming mountain-ful of backwood-sy adventure! Here, a green cow pasture had been transformed by tents into Wakarusa, the hippi-est hippie fest I ever DID see! There were four stages & cool giant bugs, even hot air balloon rides!

My camp was right by these! I won’t go on them b/c I’m afraid of the sky ..

Here’s what I wore to the Les Claypool set / costume contest :

Sir Claypool & H.A.B. rides are pretty freakin’ great, but what I really drove 17 hours for was to play like a gay gnome in the deep, deep Ozark woods!  I brought my flower press, my inflatable whale for the waterfall, everything for wilderness fun-times! But .. I was tired the first day, I had driven a lot, and there was a costume contest to attend! So I decided to wait until day 2 to go on the mile-long, mostly-up-hill hike ..

.. Miss Take! By then some tripping bitch had, well, tripped on the scenic trail & broke a foot, which resulted in the trail being closed for the whole rest of the fest! So in the end, I did not get the woodland adventure experience I’d so been so looking forward to ..

Big messy BUMMER!

I did however make the most of it,  & had a very nice time making new friends!  I had the best neighborinos ever,  from OK City! I’m convinced Oklahoma is a haven of cool folks! Here’s what camp looked like :

A good deal of my free time was spent chasing the lethargic Arkansas butterflies into my & other people’s tents. They’re so slow! Its’ like they want to be caught! This one spent the night with me! ..

And also on the 3rd night, I saw a UFO! No shit! Mike O’Brein saw it, too! Crazytimes..

So, despite the lack of forest exposure, despite my disappointment of there not being much else to do at this particular festival, DESPITE the fact that only ONE of the many scheduled performers really interested my musical tastes (I’m not a jam-band kinda gal, K?), I still had a great time at Wakarusa and felt 100% satiated by my one and only festival experience for this year .. NOT!

I was pissed, kids! And on the 17 hour drive home, I decided remedies must be put to work on my super summer escape that was here-so-far HUR-TING… I did what any self-respecting pseudo-youth with a lack of personal responsibility would do: I fucked right off to Tennessee for Bonnaroo!

Now, there’s a festival! Fine antics, mud holes, & costumes galore! A trippiness borne of invention, not just well-balanced chemicals! Sure, it’s tourist-y, maybe even a bit commercial.. but this year Ani D, Karen O, & David Effing Byrne played back to back to back .. on the same day! And I was there! Lela came, too!

My absolute favourite thing about Bonnaroo is the performance artists .. the Buskers, the Such N Such people ..  I find myself wanting to run at them, screaming “Take me with you”!

I’m totally in this Busker parade! You can see me & my nu-rave smiley-face backpack, right before the camera man yells “what the fuck!” ..

Then, the very best shows began! I growled like a metalhead to YYY’s (to the chagrin of surrounding hippies)! At Ani I cried along to the grand old songs I’d grown up with! Between Lela & I, we bought six pairs of “I love” shades! We wore them at night while watching fire shows at the Such N Such stage ..

Then, there was Byrne! Like an angel in white, he soared through songs I never thought I’d hear live: Houses In Motion, Crosseyed And Painless, etc, etc, etc… the interpretive dancers never missed a beat! I interpreted them! Every movement was planned, perfectly choreographed, shot from the stage like a hot bullet. The whole thing is a blur .. there were tutus involved .. This show was brilliant.

I could have danced and sang and screamed for encores until I died! I’ve never wanted a concert to go on forever! I acted a fool! I sang with strangers, I swayed and stomped, I even gave the widdley to some drunk guy in the audience (it’s not what you think)! In the end, I still had energy. David Byrne is pure light energy!

So here’s what I learned this year at festivals .. my experience would’ve been much more magical for these seemingly unremarkable tidbits :

Fest-y Tips

1) Never underestimate the severity of jet lag. If I had left more time for traveling, I might not have been too tired to play in the woods the next day.

2) Even if you are too tired, do the things you want to do most the first day regardless! You can never be sure when some tripping bitch will RUIN your opportunity for fun later!

3) Did I mention it rained a lot in Tennessee? Unless you’re a good swimmer, splurge on an air mattress!

4) Keep on your person something joyfully interactive at all times: a tambourine, bubbles, cowbell, all three .. you never know when you’ll pass an impromptu parade! Don’t be a voyeur!

5) In case you’re left with nothing to do, bad music and a closed trail, be prepared to pass the time between your eyes .. Remember your science lessons kids!

6) Nothing, nothing, nothing is more precious than community! Do what you can to enhance & rejoice in your own, temporarily erected or otherwise